We all expect so much from life. Whilst some of the things that we desire are within our grasp to attain others are not. In fact sometimes the expectations that are placed upon us are not based in reality.
Either way life so very often pans out for us in ways that were either not planned but which emerge as obstacles and failings along the way.
So often when we look back at the aspirations that we held in our youth and compare them to the reality of where we actually are in later years we shake our head and wonder how things went so badly wrong.
Coping With Failure
The result of any of our personal and professional failings can be dramatic and if we do not deal with them correctly at the time they happen they can lead to major health and emotional problems further on down the line.
In Expectation Hangover, Christine Hassler explores the dust that settles in the aftermath of all major disappointments that occur in our lives. In her book she argues that whist our expectations for success and achievement are simple to establish; what is not so easy is having to deal with the sense of personal loss when, for whatever reason, those expectations are not met.
Hassler explains that when jobs, relationships, personal projects and planned schedules do not develop in the way that we expect them to, rather than dwell upon our own feelings of failure we must learn to look them not so much as failings on our part but as doorways to something better.
In the introduction to her book she establishes her own approach to these type of losses.
Expectation Hangovers are doorways to tremendous opportunities to heal issues from our past, change how we are living in the present, and create a future based on who we truly are rather than who we expect to be.
In Expectation Hangover Hassler invites her readers to follow the path that she establishes for creating a better approach to loss through teaching her readers to become less afraid of grasping the new opportunities that present themselves – of learning to transform inner turmoil from a state of bitter disappointment into a new thirst for a new kind of life experience.
Common Response Types
Hassler identifies three categories into which most of our disappointments and failings usually fall. These are;
- Situational Expectation Hangovers
- Interpersonal Expectation Hangovers
- Self-Imposed Expectation Hangovers
In her book she identifies specific emotional and psychological symptoms that can be directly connected to our responses to each of these three types of hangovers.
These include a deepening lack of motivation, depression, anxiety, regret, physical discomfort, irritability, self-judgment and even in some cases, social withdrawal.
‘Expectation Hangover’ is, from the start, focussed upon offering specific advice for those trapped by the residue of past failings. The book is geared towards helping the reader not only to avoid disappointment when expectations are not met but to develop a sort of strong, personal philosophy that makes us better able to cope when events conspire to take another turn.
Hassler explains how this more pragmatic approach to life requires several specific re-adjustments to the way that we generally think about ourselves and our lives. These include the need to relinquish control over our immediate environment, to realize that one’s comfort zone is in fact a trap, learning to avoid misinterpreting the connection between cause and effect as well as accepting that we are not being punished when things go wrong in our lives.
Stages in Recovery
‘Expectation Hangover’ is comprised of three separate parts. In the first Hassler explores the heart of personal chaos and life changes. She reflects upon the nature of our conditioned responses to our damaged egos and inner sense of Self.
In part two she offers a treatment plan. This features specific tasks, exercises and workplans for helping sufferers of life conflicts at an emotional, mental, behavioural and spiritual level.
Part three, titled Prevention, focuses upon ways to manage your expectations in the pursuance of one’s goals.
Finally, the book closes with seven specific and quick fixes that can be applied by anyone in the eventuality of personal loss and disappointment.
As Hassler states in her conclusion, the world is changing as well as the consciousness of people. It is time that we learn to move with those changes, disengage from fixed patterns of expectations and ride life hard bearing a flag calling for change and revolution.
Our Review of Expectation Hangover by Christine Hassler
Alcoholic hangovers come with the terrain and in the main is something that we expect and learn to cope with
When dealing with lost dreams and dashed hopes the remedy cannot, unfortunately, be found in consuming less life or by taking a simple pill for the pounding headache. Instead the way that we treat ourselves, the degree to which we respect ourselves and allow the healing of new opportunities to enter our life the better our chance of surviving life intact.
For those of us, and that includes a good 99.9% of everyone currently alive, who feels knocked around by life, Christine Hassler has produced a cleverly constructed and sympathetically-written guide to helping us get back up onto our feet and to move on to pastures new.
With some powerfully moving accounts of both her own deep losses – as well as those experienced by other contributors to the book, she has written one of the mist astute commentaries in the human condition that I have read in a very long time.
Expectation Hangover is a wholly more complex and philosophical publication than its title suggests. It digs into the very heart of what it means to be a human-being – a sentient form with dreams, goals and expectations hard-wired into our core being.
When these are not met the resultant emotional pain can be crippling and in some cases so great that it causes one to give up on life entirely.
That is a pity for ‘Expectation Hangover’ does indeed offer that curative remedy – a pill that mitigates the worst effects of the psychospiritual fallout that ensues when we feel life has dealt us a bad hand. The book’s central philosophy accepts that other, non-ego, forces come into play in our lives and that sometimes the unseen spiritual component to ourselves takes us off in unexpected directions – possibly away from danger and towards even greater success.
This is a book of deep and well-considered philosophical ideas which aught to be universally acknowledged and adhered to for Christine Hassler and her book ‘Expectation Hangover’ offers so much in practical help, sympathetic guidance and deep insight.
Expectation Hangover is a fine publication at every level. For readers who are keen to reignite their once fiery passion for life and personal experience this book offers a genuinely effective path through the darkest jungles of self-recrimination. It is a book that has been forged in the heat of the writer’s own emotional confrontations and psychological battles and for that it is all the more powerful and inspiring.
Book of the Month: February 2016